1. They won’t tell anyone you know.
And, just to be sure, maybe change a few details like names and dates to ensure anonymity.
2. They don’t have a pre-biased opinion about you.
They don't know you. So they don't know your history, your habits, your relationships, etc. So you can get a fresh opinion from them.
3. There is less pressure.
Sometime telling your friends or family things like our plans, our thoughts or what we feel in a specific moment can put an involuntary pressure on us. We may feel like we have to follow through or commit to something that we actually just need to talk through in the moment. Telling someone who doesn't know you maybe just the thing you need to work through a thought with out the follow up conversations.
4. You won’t stress about what they think.
You don't know this person and chances are you may never see them again, so you really don't care about what they think or feel about what you're telling them. When you remain in the same friend group or are always going to the same people to talk, we can often anticipate how they're going to think or feel about our situations or conversations and the advice they're going to give. Talking to a fresh pair of ears with our history, that stress of the "I know what's coming" is nonexistent.
5. You can say what you are really thinking and feeling.
You ever have conversation or tell a story and censor it to your audience? You know your mom is going to feel a specific way about what you're doing so you leave out a few details and maybe a few words and give half a story.. With a stranger you can tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth if that's what you want. You don't know them, so say what ya feel!
6. Talking about it freely could help you work through it.
We've all been there... "should I break off this relationship because he took the last of the coffee?" "should I quit this job to start my own thing?" "should I confront that a**hole at work?" ok maybe not allll of us BUT talking to a stranger might just be the conversation we need to work through it.
7. You could get great advice.
Because you don't know this person and they don't know you, the chances of them giving you honest, real advice are pretty good. Our friends and family are often trying to protect our feelings and, more often than not, they're just telling us what they think we want to hear not what we NEED to hear. A stranger doesn't care they'll just tell you what they think.
8. You’ll feel better getting it off your chest.
Sometimes we keep things so tight to us that we don't realize our shoulders are tense, our jaw clenched, and we forget to just take a breath. Get. it. out! Tell a stranger and then relax!
9. There are no strings attached.
Think about it like this, you just swiped right. There's no expectation but, of course there's a possibility... But generally it's just a chat, or maybe a date, and if you're both down, maybe a hook up but there are no strings attached. It's the same for talking with a stranger there's no before and no after just the moment and no one's expecting it to go further than that conversation.
10. You can walk away anytime.
If you don't like what you're hearing, you can exit the conversation at any time! "Thanks, it was nice meeting you. I have to go." and you're out! ✌️
11. They will usually listen with their undivided attention.
Often when we're talking to our inner circle, they're adding their opinion, their interrupting you to tell a different story, or their all together disengaged. If they don't know you, they'll usually give you their attention. They put their phone away. They listen and don't interrupt.
12. You could end up gaining a new friend who gets you.
You may actually make a connection! Talk to that stranger and see what happens!
Yes, there is such a thing as “stranger danger.” Don’t ignore what you learned as a child. Pay attention to your gut because there is danger within some strangers. But the truth is, not every stranger is a danger. In this digital era, believe it or not, people are starving for human to human contact. That’s right. I said it! Wherever we are, we at DOPE make it a point to randomly strike up conversations and more often than not the stories you hear are fascinating. It is amazing how much people open about their personal lives in the most random places.
At the post office I began talking to a lady whose sister was trying to make amends while on her death bed. It turns out that they haven’t spoken for years since her husband had an affair with that same sister. That conversation evolved into one of trust, loyalty, and consequence. Another time I was in a hospital waiting room. Somehow, a random conversation about the FBI led to a story about how one of the other visitors was surveilled by the FBI. It turns out he was a relative of a dangerous criminal they were investigating at the time. As the conversation evolved it became one of test and triumph and in the end a pretty unique story of success.
It’s interesting how sometimes, I’ve found, that a stranger can offer more support for your ideas and ambitions than even some of your close family or friends. My guess is, it’s because there’s no strings attached. Strangers will usually stop to listen and that is sometimes all we need. In my experience, they aren’t afraid to give you real feedback. Stranger’s aren’t competing with you, they aren’t worried about your failures, and they don’t really care about your end result. So, I’ve found they don’t try and hold you back. They too might be looking for someone to share their dreams with because they’re not supported. You might learn that the stranger is connected to an opportunity you didn’t even know you were seeking, a lesson you didn’t know you needed to learn, a friendship outside your normal clique, or NOT and that’s ok too.
In an era where there seems to be more divide, we at DOPE want to bring people together and help people see that we’re not as different as we think. And those differences that are there can be learned from. So, on Sept 16th we will be celebrating a new National Holiday, Sit With a Stranger Day. DOPE is the official founder of this new National Holiday! Now that’s DOPE!
Join us on SEPT 16th and use #sitwithastranger #swas to tell us about your experience on our DOPE A$$ DREAM WALL #bdope !!!
***Disclaimer: This is NOT to tell you to follow someone down a dark alley or insinuate that you should get inside a stranger's white windowless van. Be smart and be safe! Talk on!***
Cure? Ok, we recognize that's probably a bit of a stretch BUT it has been shown that random acts of kindness is more beneficial for the giver than the receiver. Doing something kind for someone else releases dopamine - we’ve all heard about that. It’s the chemical our brain releases and gives us that euphoric feeling. It also releases the hormone, oxytocin, which is linked to our feelings of love and intimacy and has ties to optimism and self-esteem. The key is repetition. You can’t just do one good deed and expect to feel amazing forever, just like you can’t eat one salad and have lose the extra insulation. So pass that kindness out like Oprah passes out cars! Make it a habit and see those results!
In the 1960’s four wise men from the UK invaded America and told us to come together because all we need is love and Lucy’s in the sky with diamonds… oh never mind, that last part’s about something else. Anyway, their words are timeless and are needed as much today as they were then! Here’s 10 free ways to spread the love with a little help from your friends 😜
1. Open the door for someone
2. Flash someone… your pearly whites
3. Let someone cut in line
4. Give someone a compliment
5. Give a nice note to someone
6. Call someone just to check in on them
7. Send someone a podcast, book, meme, or song that will lift their mood
8. Say please and thank you
9. Leave a positive review / let a manager know when you’ve received good service.
10. Let someone in in traffic
Bonus: Be grateful! Let someone know that you genuinely appreciate them 🙂
1. Decluttering your space helps declutter your mind. Our environments often reflect what’s going on inside our heads. Cleaning and decluttering will help you feel less stressed, less overwhelmed, and more focused.
Pro Tip: Start with a very, very, VERY small area and go from there. (e.g. start with your sock drawer, then the whole dresser.)
2. It’s important to set boundaries. Boundaries are good. Boundaries are our friends. People treat you how you allow them to and on the flip side they treat you how you treat them. A little respect and consideration never hurt anyone 😜
3. You don’t have to listen to everyone. Not everyone has good advice, although, everyone is usually quick to give it. Just because they give it doesn’t mean you have to listen or absorb it.
4. Approach everything with confidence. We’ve all heard the saying, “confidence is key.” Then use it to unlock the damn door! Go to work, that meeting, that date and don’t be afraid to be YOU!
5. Don’t be afraid to dream big! Dream PRESTIGE WORLDWIDE - WIDE - WIDE big!
6. If you don’t ask, the answer is alway no. Period.
7. Never lose sight of your dinosaur. We are who we are. Find out who that is, love that person, respect that person, grow that person, and in all the noise that we are constantly surrounded in, don't lose sight of that person.
Monday. ugh. Am I right? Well, guess what? It’s time to TAKE. BACK. MONDAY! Here’s 7 ways you can kick A$$ on Monday!
1. Sunday Prep
Make Monday easier and set it up Sunday night. Whether it’s packing a lunch, picking out your clothes, making a to-do list, get that isht done Sunday night so you have less to think about when Monday morning hits.
2. Indulge on Monday
Make Monday a day to look forward to! Go to lunch, take time for self care, meet up with friends, do a hobby, start a new TV show or book. Whatever it is, give yourself the gift of Monday.
3. Take time on Monday to focus on your fucking DREAM!
Set aside a time on Monday - morning, afternoon, or night just for your dream. And do it EVERY Monday. Not only does this give you something to look forward to but working on your dream will keep you thinking about it all week so that dream becomes a reality.
4. Try something new
Get out of your comfort zone. Try a new shirt, a new hair style, a new hobby, ask them out, go to the class. Don’t be a bitch, take nike’s advice and just do it!
Take a class, listen to a podcast, read a book, watch a youtube video. Maybe you want to improve a skill, speak a language, learn something new to crush your dream. There are toooonnnsss of inexpensive or free resources to expand you mind.
6. Take time for mental health
Ya know, that thing between your ears, behind your eyes. It’s where all the magic happens so give it a BREAK! Talk to a therapist, journal, meditate, work out, clean up a small area. Do something to purge, relax, and reset your brain.
7. Do a random act of kindness
Ok, so we can’t all be walking around like saints every damn day so try and do something nice for someone on Monday. Make a co-worker lunch, open the door for someone, pay someone a compliment, let someone cut in line, buy a stranger a coffee, the possibilities are endless. BUT, doing something kind for someone else has shown to have a greater positive effect on the giver than the recipient. It’s science.
Now that we’ve given you the best advice ever, check out our social media for more ways to #moveyourassmonday and follow the hashtag 😜
Ever felt like you needed to conform to the norms of a group? Like you needed to please people? Yeah same, and all I can say is FUCK THAT! There is nothing more draining than trying to please everyone in your life. Why do we feel the need to do this? Why can’t we just be who we are and not give a shit? Because we are so afraid of losing people. But guess what, if you lose people for being who you really are then they weren’t real friends in the first place!
Losing people you thought were friends is not an easy thing. It makes our brains move a mile a minute thinking about why they didn’t like the real you. But sometimes losing those people is blessing in disguise. It makes room in your life for new friends who will love you for YOU. And that is the best damn thing in the world. Be unapologetically you and see what happens! It might just change your life.
Do you ever overreact to a situation, conversation, or even just vibes? You automatically assume everyone’s out to get you? Make shit up or misinterpret things only to make yourself look like an ass? We more often than not think that everyone is out to get us. We overthink things, we imagine the worse, and we sometimes even change the interpretation of the script because we subconsciously want it to be negative.
Surprise surprise, we ruin relationships this way. If we stop and pause before we react to what we hear, read or see and do something that will distract our reaction, it will disrupt our immediate reaction. Count to 10, sing a favorite song, repeat a favorite word, etc., are just a few things that could be of help. After having a chance to ease our mind we can change our interpretation to have a positive reaction that can work in our favor.
Waiting? Fuck that! Don’t wait for anything. I hate to break it to you, but if you want a different life or if you want something to happen, you and only you can do it! Look, there’s some bad news. There is no fairy god mother who will swoop in and wave her magic wand to make things happen for you. There is no magic pill, no secret sauce, no quick fix, no overnight success, no right time, and definitely no safe zone.
However, there is some good news amongst the bad. The good news is it’s a level playing field for anyone who is willing to grind and grit. If you want it bad enough your reason WHY will overcome your excuses that always seem to come up. Start by having your conscious mind and your subconscious mind be in sync with one other. You need to have them agree to a pact. This way they move in the same direction of your WHY. Tell them how their cooperation can make shit happen. Give yourself a schedule of simple to-do’s that will move you in the direction of your dreams. It starts with you, your conscious and unconscious mind. The time will pass either moving forward or doing nothing. So start now and slay!